I could recite the books of the Bible.
I knew all the catchy church songs and hymns.
And I did a pretty good reenactment of the preacher's sermon every Sunday (which, embarassingly, made its way into many home videos and audio recordings).
I remember sitting in youth group as a teenager thinking: "I don't really have a cool salvation story." You see, I thought the only salvation stories people really cared about were the ones that, like the hymn says, were once lost in sin, but Jesus took me in. When you grow up in the church like I did, you don't really ever remember a time of NOT knowing about God. The stories of Jesus are told to you from birth. You have your own little pink Precious Moments Bible (okay, maybe that was just me). You memorize scripture verses in Sunday School. Knowing about Jesus is just what you do. It's life.
But you see - a Christlike faith requires so much more than just knowing about God. You have to know Him. It took me awhile to realize this. Remember that teenage girl I told you about that didn't think she had a cool salvation story - yeah, fast forward another thirteen years - that same girl now has a glimpse of her faith journey, thus far, in a clear rear-view mirror, and let me tell you, it's pretty a good one (humbling, too). I serve a God who stood by me when I didn't deserve it - that's more than "cool."
My Faith Journey
- Age 5: Told my children's church pastor that I believed in Jesus and wanted to be baptized. I met with our preacher to discuss my decision and be sure that I understood the significance of what I was doing. I believe I did - as much as any five-year old can. I was ready! :)
- Age 7: I remember being so excited and telling all my friends about Jesus and sharing about him, without fear, to everyone. I always invited my best friend with me to church, so much so that she was baptized at her church at age 7.
- Ages 9-17: I was involved in every church group I could be a part of. Drama team, youth choir, sign-language ministry, church camps, youth retreats. If our church had it, I was part of it. I couldn't seem to get enough of Jesus. I loved learning about Him; I studied His word, made notes in my Bible, kept a prayer journal, and so on. I was what you call "On FIRE for God."
(Many times, my prayer now is for God to return to me the joy of my salvation, that fire that I had for Him during those teenage years...those years when I just thought I had a "boring" salvation story. Oh, if I had only realized.) - Ages 18-19: This is where my faith flight hit some turbulence. I was smooth sailing until I hit my senior year of high school. It was certainly a year of change. I turned 18, an adult, and I sure thought I knew it all. A high-school love that I just knew would end in "happily ever after" turned sour, and I began going on dates with guys whose faith was not of utmost importance to them. Don't get me wrong - they were and are good men, but Christ was not their center. I became distracted from what was the most important - Jesus. This continued into college. Having grown up as the "good-girl" and always voted "most likely to succeed", the things of the world became a little too intriguing. For the first time in my life, I struggled against what I knew was right and what I wanted. I wish I could say that I made the right choice every time, but that would be a lie. Those three years were a STRUGGLE. Quite frankly, those are years I'd happily like to erase.
Yet, as I'm typing this six years later, I see now how those struggles (though not of God) have helped me be more understanding, compassionate, and loving towards those who are caught up in those same struggles, and I pray fervently for God to open their eyes as He did mine. - Age 20: I knew enough was enough. My conscience couldn't take it any more. Jesus HAD to come off the back-burner. I remember the day like it was yesterday. I sat in my apartment bedroom floor in front of the mirror, on my knees, crying out to God. The ways of the world had to GO! I wanted the guilt, the shame, the loneliness to go. I looked in the mirror and didn't recognize the person looking back at me. You see, apart from Christ, we have no identity. Life didn't make sense without Christ at the center, and I was determined to get Him back there in my life.
- 3 Weeks Later - I met the God-fearing man I now call my husband. I got back involved in church, became the chaplain of my sorority, started leading a Bible study group of over 50 girls, and my focus was back on the Cross. - Age 22: I married the man of my dreams and began attending church regularly at his home-church, which is now what I would consider my home-church. (Let me just preface this next part by saying - His church was a far cry from what I was used to. I grew up in a family with Baptist preachers, and my family attended a Pentecostal- Assemblies of God church; that is what some would term "charismatic." The acappella, reserved singing was all new to me. I still struggle with that aspect at times, but that's a story for another day.) After talking with various people, the question was asked whether I really thought I knew what I was doing when I was baptized at five. Fearing that they may have a point, I was baptized again. (Yes, for a 2nd time.) Now, I 100% believe that I fully knew what I was doing at age 5 and the commitment I was making. No, I did not know everything, but I also did not know everything at 22 when I was baptized again. In my own heart, I fully believe I became a Christian at age 5. However, after the turbulent years I described earlier, a re-commitment, so to speak, of my life to Christ just seemed right.
- Age 23: I started doing some more studying of my own. Something about the way the whole baptism happened at age 22 was unsettling to me. In some regards, I felt pressured into it. I was angry that some had questioned my understanding at age 5 and had seemingly negated nearly 17 years of my Christian walk. If the baptism at age 22 was meant to make it all right, I didn't think I went about it the right way. I kept putting off the idea because I was not going to be the person that got baptized a third time. Wasn't that crazy? What would people think? - The truth of the matter is that I got to a point where I didn't care. God had laid this issue so heavy on my heart that I knew I had to do something. How could it not bother me? Being irritated angry when you get baptized - that just didn't seem right. I wanted to do it right - not for anyone else - just for ME and my Savior. So... long story made longer.... while on vacation at Virginia Beach with my husband in October 2013, I asked him to baptize me a third time. I told him why I felt the way I did about needing to do it again, and he agreed.
(Disclaimer: Do I really think I had to be baptized three times? Who knows. Do I think that the first time was probably good enough? Probably. -- But when it comes to eternal life with the Father, I just wasn't willing to chance it. Yeah, it may sound crazy to some, but I wanted to know that I knew I was right with my God. And, now, I do. I pray that you do, too. If not, please make it right. Who cares what others think? Your eternity is with Him.) - Age 24-25: By this age, I was now involved more in what I like to call Kingdom work. I went on my first mission trip; my husband and I continued to teach a kindergarten Bible class at the Inner City, we became youth leaders for 9th graders (now 10th graders), and I became the teacher sponsor for my school's Christian student group. When God moves, He MOVES! I surely don't deserve these blessings, but I'm so thankful He still sees fit to use me!
- Age 26: We've faced a little turbulence lately, as my husband and I now have two precious, angel babies in Heaven. It is now that I see the value of a strong faith, as that has been the only thing to hold me through these two miscarriages. I refuse to let the turbulence distract me again as it did in my younger years, and it is through my Faith (a faith where God has proven His peace, joy, and sovereignty over and over again in my life) that I have hope for tomorrow. Come what may, My God you are still good!
** Please be in prayer with us for a child, if it be God's will. We are believing by faith that we will expand our family one day, and I cannot wait to update my faith journey (my really "cool" salvation story) when that day comes!
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